living a nancy meyers life

living

5 Jun

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There are posts about living a Nancy Meyers life running amok all over the internet right now and this is my version. First came the Coastal Grandmother phenomenon that I wrote about a few years ago - this remains my most popular post in search terms and has just been freshly updated for summer 2026. Ironically, at 57 and living an eight-minute drive from the beach, I could be an actual Coastal Grandmother but I’m not and have no wish to be for a long time if you’re reading this H. Back to the present and the cosy interior obsessed internet collective 🙋🏼‍♀️ have taken the whole aesthetic one step further and are encouraging us all to live a Nancy Meyers life. In essence, it all comes down to the one thing that’s always been my default mode - the permanent pursuit of finding a myriad of ways to infuse a little beauty into the everyday. It’s not meant to be deep, it’s fun… and if you can’t have fun in life (and on Instagram) then what’s the point?

As I began putting my thoughts onto the page, I realised that in a world that feels tainted with sadness, fear and sometimes, utter lunacy, this kind of thing has the potential to come across as privileged bullshit. But if the world makes us feel despondent some days, isn’t that the very reason to participate in simple things that harm no one and bring small bursts of happiness to a moment? With much of the Nancy Meyers effect centred around the home and domestic life, you could also say there’s a risk I’m sounding a bit fifties housewife, bow in hair, dinner on the table, awaiting the return of the husband from work. Or maybe today’s slightly scarier version – the Tradwife. Read Yesteryear yet? Hard recommend! In either case, I’m not going there so stick with me.

As a semi-retired 57 year old I would say that dabbling in this way of being is infinitely easier in this life stage – I work part time and my child has flown the nest, so I have more time on my hands in general. Those aren’t excuses – they’re facts. Having done my time at the coalface of motherhood, work, grief and all manner of general life shizzle, I feel no guilt about seeking small joys on a daily basis. As the years pass, I find myself more eager to embrace the golden moments in amongst the challenges yet to come. It’s also heartening to note that, if social media is to be believed, the concept is being embraced by those in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s too… proof if ever it were needed that people are actively seeking analogue wholesomeness en masse.

The extra time I’ve gained in my days has meant that things rooted in the home and domesticity now have the capacity to expand into something more joyous. Things I would have previously put off or struggled to squeeze into the day now present an opportunity to slow down, relish the doing and be in the moment. It’s not about pretending I do them all day, every day with a glowing smile plastered on my face – some days there’s still no time… or inclination. And it’s not about perfection, high end luxury or aspiring to the dream house that would break the bank either. It’s about making the best of what I have and deriving a (maybe slightly weird?) satisfaction in all the tiny things – from mundane household tasks to the more magical moments like being out in nature.

Practice it enough and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Generally, the more wholesome moments I seek, the more I find, leading to a feeling of wellbeing, positivity and hope. This isn’t to say there aren’t tough challenges, times when I feel low or days that are just plain shitty - there will always be those. But lately, when this happens, my strategy has been to actively look for a Nancy Meyers moment and live it for a few minutes because it helps to right the balance a little. And sometimes not. Sometimes I just sit and wallow until it passes.

Enough pontificating – let’s get down to the detail of where there are multiple Meyers Points (MPs) to be gained…

Home is a sanctuary where connection happens

The Kitchen

Creating a cosy kitchen environment where meals are prepped and people talk is a good starter. Ours is a small kitchen so anyone wanting to join in the conversation has to stand in the doorway or perch on the one wooden stool in the corner in front of the oven – not entirely practical but doesn’t mean its not wholesome. Our worktops used to be minimally adorned with clinically functional kitchen things – Patrick’s pet peeve was “stuff” on the worktop. Enter Nancy and me! Over time they’ve transitioned to include the coffee corner, favourite utensils and serving dishes on display, a vase of flowers, fruit or vegetables in a bowl atop the hob, condiments in glass jars or ginger jars, a chalkboard with family messages and stacked wooden and marble chopping boards. Meyers Points earned – at least 20. There’s always music – if I’m in charge it’s something jazzy or of the Nat King Cole ilk - extra MPs for this playlist - and usually a candle lit on the shelf or windowsill amongst the herb pots. I love nothing better than when Patrick and I are cooking, H is home and is the one perched on the stool. Getting the warm and fuzzies from the kitchen makes me want to take more time in prepping a meal or making good food for friends and family. Multiple MPs all round.

Hosting

If I’m entirely honest we don’t host big dinners all that much but when we do, I really enjoy it because I have more time to think and plan for it. Whether it’s a friend popping in for coffee and pastry, an impromptu drinks and picky bits evening in the garden or a full on three-courser, nothing makes me happier at this stage of life then making people feel welcome in our home. Patrick will generally do the lion’s share of the cooking whilst I faff with starter or dessert… and the table is always my domain. The phrase “Go and Nancy Meyers the shit out of it” is one you’ll hear on the regular here. There are so many MPs up for grabs when it comes to setting the table: a runner or tablecloth, placemats, napkins, any combination of fruit or herbs on said napkins, stacked plates for each course, mis-matched (and always some blue and white china), bud vases on the table, candles and no overhead lighting whatsoever. And that’s without any seasonal occasion in the mix – I can bank enough MPs at Christmas to last the entire year!

Elevate The Everyday Meals

Take broad bean pasta for example - tis the season so why not? We fancied broad bean pasta for dinner last week but instead of picking them up at the supermarket, I deliberately stopped in at the local farm shop to buy them fresh – 1 MP. Took the time to sit in the kitchen (on the one stool) and shuck them into a pretty bowl (2 MPs), served dinner in more pretty bowls, set the table even though it’s just the two of us, (3 MPs), ate and talked over a glass of white wine on a Thursday evening. Before you know it, a weekday meal became a full on joyous elevated occasion and my MP cup overflowed.

Meh Tasks Made Less Meh

Have to do laundry – can’t say I love it. But give me the Tallow & Ash Home Sweet Home detergent set,wooden dolly clothes pegs and a sunny day to hang it out on the line and I swear it feels so much better. We don’t have a utility room and the washing machine is in the garage, but if I get my way, there will be a beautiful wicker basket in there soon to store all the laundry paraphernalia – that’s worth at least 6 MPs. This is the Man Cave so I may be pushing my luck a bit here. I can’t say I find all that much joy in other cleaning tasks but if I can combine dusting with shelf faffing that helps. When it comes to washing up what doesn’t go in the dishwasher (looking at you vintage Burleigh china bowls 👀), I use this washing up liquid. It smells heavenly – if its possible for washing up liquid to smell chic, this does. Not only that but I first bought it in a shop called Pascale in Norwich when H was at uni so there’s a happy memory association with it too. Now I order it online in bulk from French Soaps, refill the small bottle and and recycle the large one. Add in a wooden brush, a washable cloth and the doing the dishes becomes marginally more desirable.

My Other non-Negotiables For Extra Meyers Points

Light the good scented candle(s) every day. Don’t wait. In fact, take it further and find seasonal scents for home that you love and let them become your signature. I’ve nailed autumn and winter – the one I return to is Bay & Rosemary by St Eval – in room diffuser, candles, hand soap and kitchen sink hand lotion. The jury is still out on spring and summer although the beautiful Grove England hand care duo and candle in Anemone I was recently gifted by the brand is a strong contender. I also got a St Eval candle for my birthday in their Walled Garden fragrance and I really love it.

Plant herbs in terracotta pots and store on the kitchen windowsill. Way better than the supermarket plastic pots, plus they last longer if you break them into smaller plants and keep the saucers filled with water.

Lots of low lighting in as many rooms as possible – at the very least, the living room, kitchen, hallway and bedroom. We’re still sorting out years of lighting mistakes in our house and will be for some time, but table lamps and rechargeable lights are the way forward.

Make the coffee in the cute kitchen coffee corner then take it outside or sit on the sofa and savour it. No phones. No TV or radio – just thoughts.

Buy fresh flowers once in a while. Or once a week. I’d rather spend £8 on a bunch of supermarket flowers than get two coffees on the go.

Getting into gardening. It was nurturing the hydrangeas last summer that sparked something in me and now the joy of planting, watching things grow and seeing those wafty pompom heads bobbing about in the breeze, brings me indescribable joy. I also feel closer to Biscuit when I’m pottering about out there as she loved being in the garden so much.

A note on style. It would be remiss of me to leave my wardrobe out of the discussion when it comes to the Nancy Meyers life… but I think you know what I’m going to say – it’s not rocket science. Something has shifted these last couple of years in my thoughts on clothes, style influence and dressing for the life I actually lead as opposed to the one I imagine I do. I have lots more to delve into on this so will leave if for future posts but for now there’s this: Cotton, linen, cashmere. Fewer pieces, higher quality (but not necessarily ridiculous price points). Repeat elements of outfits that make you feel best, or repeat the entire outfit. Curate good seasonal essentials - for me that’s coast and countryside – not the city. Comfort and simplicity. Second hand Ralph Lauren on Vinted. Navy blue. Silver jewellery. Loafers. Mary Janes. Good boots. Less blazers, more varied weather, good jackets. A tuxedo dinner suit instead of a long dress. Three or four handbags of varied size, nothing more. The perfect one pair of jeans… is an urban myth.

Pictures on walls – lots of pictures on lots of walls. I’m still working on this – both in terms of sorting what goes where and convincing Patrick that more is more is more when it comes to pictures. We were meant to start the gallery wall last weekend but the weather took a turn for the better and so the garden won. But mark my words, there will be frames on walls soon. Maybe not all will have prints in just yet but there will be frames at least.

Slow it all down. As often as you can. When I’m working, I have to get up from my desk every half hour or so and stretch and move a little – that’s just age. Sometimes I’ll take a five-minute garden break and sit and listen to the birds. No phone allowed. I’ll only ever read a book – no screen reader devices have ever appealed and there’s nothing like holding a treasured book in your hands. There’s a whole host of other idiosyncrasies‍ ‍daily rituals here that I’ve come to rely on for a calmer life.

Practicing acceptance. Not to go all woo woo or sound glib about events that can be life altering, but midlife has a way of throwing multiple challenges our way… and I’m fairly certain most of my readers have experienced a few or a whole lot of these already. I don’t think we can ever claim to “accept” these things without experiencing pain, sorrow, emotion or loss along the way. But there are some days (not many but I’ll take the few I can get), where I feel like a mature grateful woman who knows a thing or two, has gone through some of those life events herself and is still standing. And usually smiling. I like to think that time and life experience helps when it comes to navigating the harder stuff with grace… and if in doubt, I always ponder what would Meryl do? Or Nancy come to that.

So that’s it. This is some of what I mean when I tag my Instagram posts with living a Nancy Meyers life. Highlighting the beautiful moments - you might be doing it already and just not framing it as this – if so, congratulations, you’re already a winner! Collect 200 Meyers Points, advance past Go and head straight to Meryl’s It’s Complicated kitchen, stopping along the way to pick only the white pebbles off the beach for Diane…